This (last) post could seem oddly personal (and long) in light of my other, more objective posts, but I have to admit that I interacted with the Cixous reading in a very personal way. I could probably write pages of reflection on each paragraph, the ones I understood, that is. But I’ll focus on one that stood out to me.
Cixous writes in “The Laugh of the Medusa” that “men have committed the greatest crime against women. Insidiously, violently, they have led them to hate women, to be their own enemies, to mobilize their immense strength against themselves, to be the executants of their virile needs. They have made for women an antinarcissism! A narcissism which loves itself only to be loved for what women haven’t got!” (Bizzell and Herzberg 1526).
This passage immediately reminded me of a trend I’ve noticed primarily in adolescent girls (or younger) and also in adult women. And I’ve contributed to it, too. When I was younger, I remember saying and thinking quite often that I didn’t want to hang out with other girls, preferring to spend time with boys instead. During certain periods in my life, I would cultivate relationships with mostly guy friends with only a couple girlfriends.
Also, I have noticed that a few of my friends (especially when I was a teenager) consciously tried to be less “female.” I watched one friend in particular deliberately try to weed out anything “girly” in her life, from her clothing to her music to the decorations in her room. She became much colder toward me and another close girlfriend while trying to be best friends with several guys we both knew. I just remember feeling that something felt strange about this rejection of our sex.
Many women I’ve known have had similar attitudes toward their sex either when they were young or even more recently. I have heard many girls and women bash women as a whole, saying things like “I don’t want to be like other women; they’re too emotional (or talk too much or only like to shop—or other classic stereotype),” “Guys are so much more intelligent and interesting to talk to; I can actually have deep conversations with them,” or even “I hate girls.”
I could be wrong, but I feel that much fewer of my male friends have been unsatisfied with predominately male characteristics. Fewer would be likely to sincerely reject their sex. I remember that when my church’s youth group split up into guys and girls for different activities, the guys were usually excited about it, but some of the girls were not. Or if my friends had a guys’ night and a girls’ night for some sort of event, I and other friends were often reluctant to go to the girls’ night while the guys’ was well attended.
Whether these phenomena directly relate to what Cixous discusses, I’m not sure. But there is something troubling about the ease with which girls and women frequently attack their sex. I am hesitant to blame “insidious” men, but does our culture praise typically “male” qualities so much that women feel ashamed to be female?
2 comments:
Being removed from the society of adolescent (or younger) girls, I was saddened by your observations concerning females abandoning their sex to adopt more masculine interests or characteristics. I believe that the females who think they're going to better themselves by ditching their girlfriends are in for a rude awakening later in life. And aren't some of them sacrificing female friendships to make themselves more appealing to males? Aren't they rejecting women (and all things girly) in anticipation of gaining the romantic attention of men? Does that make sense? (By the way, I agree with you that this behavior is not to be blamed on "insidious" men.) Perhaps what you speak of is reflective of females in their teens and twenties, as they seek self-confidence and identity. Hopefully, these young women will learn to appreciate having girlfriends/womenfriends, just as they appreciate having important male mates in their lives -- boyfriends, significant others, husbands. Hopefully they will discover -- and rejoice in -- a very real kinship that exists between women... With life being so very busy and complicated, I cherish time spent with my husband, our family, AND my girlfriends. They are my treasures.
Gender is such an odd topic. I think Americans (I can't speak for other cultures) put too much weight on both race and gender.
Your post reminds me of a story I read on CNN called CNN readers respond angrily to 'race or gender' story
CNN ran an article about the tough choice black women face when voting in the Democratic primary. At first galnce, the logic seems OK: Sen. Clinton or Sen. Obama?
Until you think about it. Then it seems racist and sexist. Apparently, the CNN readers found it so offensive that they prompted the second article.
Here's a great excerpt: An e-mailer named Tiffany responded sarcastically: "Duh, I'm a black woman and here I am at the voting booth. Duh, since I'm illiterate I'll pull down the lever for someone. Hm... Well, he black so I may vote for him... oh wait she a woman I may vote for her... What Ise gon' do? Oh lordy!"
Tiffany urged CNN to "pull this racist crap off" the Web site and to stop calling Hillary the "top female candidate."
"Stop calling Barack the "black" candidate," she wrote."
Also, this:
"Since Edwards no longer officially exists, as a white male I face the same choice - either I vote my race (Clinton) or my gender (Obama). Or I could just pick the candidate based on who I think would be best," wrote Michael.
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